The Fall
We met and I started falling.
You planted something inside of me
that grew as fast as we got familiar with each other.
Developing feelings nourished it.
It grew
and grew,
and grew,
and struck its roots deeply
into my fearful but expectant heart.
And then,
suddenly,
just as it was about to open its leaves and buds,
you gripped it
and ripped it
o u t.
With all its leaves and roots,
and a part of its nurturing ground.
It left a hole with crumbling edges
and a starving soil and soul.
You left and I...
started falling.
Again.
But it was not a fall into,
not a strangely novel but comfortable one.
It was an aching, confusing and sc
There was so much that I wanted to tell you.
I was too concerned with myself to recognise that I would miss you this much.
I always thought you'd like her more than me.
She was nicer. She always behaved.
I was mean. And childish.
I hated you for hitting me.
I hated her for being your favourite.
Then I hardly saw you.
I was too concerned with my own life.
But I didn't recognise that you are a part of that life.
And now I can only say you were.
You are gone.
I only have to think of you and I'm about to cry.
For a short time, my life seemed meaningless.
As I visited you for the last time,
I begged to god that he would take you.
Y
I suffer.
A pain that I can't define.
Heartbreaking.
I'm wretched.
All Alone.
And I know that someone cares
But sometimes that isn't enough.
Sometimes it's not enough if someone cares.
The right one has to care.
After all this time
I suddenly feel love turning into hate.
But it's not hate.
It's envy.
Why not me?
Am I this miserable? This unattractive?
I think, I'm going insane.
Crazy.
Everything's crazy.
And I'm the centre of it.
I can't escape. Escaping would mean to open my mouth.
To say something.
And this I can't do.
I'll never be able to do.
And so my heart get's slowly eaten by these feelings I hate.
Feelings, I shouldn't be capable of experiencing
Slowly, everything's turning grey.
Black and dark.
White and hate.
A part of me is getting lost.
And I can't do anything.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
A light
The snowflakes fall from up above,
The sky is dark, the wind is tough.
It is not what should resemble love,
Showing only parts or bluffs.
But in the dark, there shines a light.
It flickers, fights and shivers
Throughout the long, black, cold night,
Surrounded by grey trees and rivers.
There is still hope,
Where it is lying,
Looking for a helping rope,
To prevent it from loneliness and dying.
By searching it finds, what it was looking for,
It finds your friendship, love and maybe more
Her brown hair with a tinge of red
reaches nearly her slender shoulders,
while her mahogany eyes look at me
through her square glasses in a pleasant way.
Her roseate lips form a comforting smile,
while her laughter raises bright and gentle
as the wind waves through the leaves of a tree soft and quiet.
Her life's like a feather
spontaneous and hovering into the clouds.
Her love to her childishness is highly visible.
It's ordinary, usual.
Her love to her friends, her love to her sisters and her love to her tales.
But inside, her soul seems desperate.
For a moment, a glance in her eyes tells,
that in an instant, she is about to cry
Casual Time
Shall I moan, cry into the deep blue sky,
which is hidden behind frightening black clouds?
Or shall I turn to the wide green sea,
where I will not be heard when I shout out loud?
Shall I just take my life, as they took mine,
for such a casual thing as time?
Shall I be crying all the day?
Knowing nothing could ease my pain?
Nothing could light my heart, my bad harm.
For I loved but was not loved
nor shown any warmth.
So shall I moan, bleed with my open chest,
for it was cut and opened by their crave.
By letting them into my feelings as guests,
Hoping that I could save,
such a thing as ordinary as can be.
this smal
The Fall
We met and I started falling.
You planted something inside of me
that grew as fast as we got familiar with each other.
Developing feelings nourished it.
It grew
and grew,
and grew,
and struck its roots deeply
into my fearful but expectant heart.
And then,
suddenly,
just as it was about to open its leaves and buds,
you gripped it
and ripped it
o u t.
With all its leaves and roots,
and a part of its nurturing ground.
It left a hole with crumbling edges
and a starving soil and soul.
You left and I...
started falling.
Again.
But it was not a fall into,
not a strangely novel but comfortable one.
It was an aching, confusing and sc
There was so much that I wanted to tell you.
I was too concerned with myself to recognise that I would miss you this much.
I always thought you'd like her more than me.
She was nicer. She always behaved.
I was mean. And childish.
I hated you for hitting me.
I hated her for being your favourite.
Then I hardly saw you.
I was too concerned with my own life.
But I didn't recognise that you are a part of that life.
And now I can only say you were.
You are gone.
I only have to think of you and I'm about to cry.
For a short time, my life seemed meaningless.
As I visited you for the last time,
I begged to god that he would take you.
Y
I suffer.
A pain that I can't define.
Heartbreaking.
I'm wretched.
All Alone.
And I know that someone cares
But sometimes that isn't enough.
Sometimes it's not enough if someone cares.
The right one has to care.
After all this time
I suddenly feel love turning into hate.
But it's not hate.
It's envy.
Why not me?
Am I this miserable? This unattractive?
I think, I'm going insane.
Crazy.
Everything's crazy.
And I'm the centre of it.
I can't escape. Escaping would mean to open my mouth.
To say something.
And this I can't do.
I'll never be able to do.
And so my heart get's slowly eaten by these feelings I hate.
Feelings, I shouldn't be capable of experiencing
Slowly, everything's turning grey.
Black and dark.
White and hate.
A part of me is getting lost.
And I can't do anything.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
A light
The snowflakes fall from up above,
The sky is dark, the wind is tough.
It is not what should resemble love,
Showing only parts or bluffs.
But in the dark, there shines a light.
It flickers, fights and shivers
Throughout the long, black, cold night,
Surrounded by grey trees and rivers.
There is still hope,
Where it is lying,
Looking for a helping rope,
To prevent it from loneliness and dying.
By searching it finds, what it was looking for,
It finds your friendship, love and maybe more
Current Residence: Someplace in Austria Favourite genre of music: depends on the song Operating System: Windows, my fingers...my brain...? and a sheet of paper Personal Quote: Reading makes life more bearable. Music too.